Vander Edward Marino. Our son died in the early morning hours of Monday, July 10th, 2024 to suicide. I realize parents may see their children through rose-colored glasses, however, in this case, everyone that knew my son has said the same wonderful, kind things about who he was without being prompted or asked. The kindest, gentlest, mellow, empathetically beautiful soul. Tangible things are just that. Things. Accumulation of things means nothing compared to the accumulation of love and abundance of your loved ones. Today we are viewing him one more time at the mortuary before his body is cremated. It's been almost a week and a half since the worst day of my life thus far and there will ever be. Family is paramount, your loved ones are all that matters in this world. Truly. Absolutely. It is very difficult, for Robert (Vander's Dad) and myself to go back to work. Extremely difficult for me to return because Vander worked at the restaurant where I work for four or five months. He wanted to quit to work somewhere closer to his dad's house fifteen minutes away. None of the managers wanted him to quit, he was so hard working, always doing something without being asked. The first one to clean dirty tables or try to help with takeout without being asked to do so. So in my return to work, it's going to be very difficult for me, seeing him everywhere. Remembering working with him on the register, seeing him run food out to the guests, etc. Our daughter, Harper, (Vander's sister) is only 14 years old. Rent, bills, her school expenses, etc., go on in life despite tragedy. No one thinks at any given point, "We better put some savings away in case we need to pay for our son's funeral at twenty". Some of the funds collected will be just to help us get by monetarily through this time in addition to what is necessary to spend on cremating our son, etc. Since Robert and I have lived in CA by ourselves for 24 years with our children being born here, we have a large amount of family in Florida and Chicago, it is more practical and necessary for us to fly there so we can be with our families at this time. Some of the funds will help with plane tickets, travel expenses and also with our absence from work to do so. A portion of the funds we would like to give to a suicide prevention foundation, a support group for parents who have lost their children to suicide, and a support group for children who have lost their siblings to suicide. There are a few and we haven't decided which one yet. Any suggestions are welcome. Vander was the nicest person I ever met. Truly. He never hurt anyone, really, no one. Anyone can attest to that. He was the first person to help the old lady across the street or pick up and console the crying child. He was amazingly smart and so very handsome. Vander would want everyone to strive to be more mindful, kinder, and a bit more patient with one another. I would like to ask each of you reading this to strive to do so in his honor. Harper, ironically just won a small scholarship award, graduating from 8th grade with an entry to an essay competition on the value of kindness. Just a few words to a stranger or a friend could make someone's day, maybe even change the course of their life at that moment. It is true. Thank you in advance for your contribution in helping us through this extremely difficult time.
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