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Jovial quadriplegic needs a new vehicle My name is Brian Thompson and what you are about to read may seem melodramatic and blatantly manipulative but hear me out. When I was born in 1971 the men of Apollo 14 were walking on the moon. I guess that was an omen about how my life would play out, as in my entire existence has been unconventional. I was born to a single mother at a time when bastards were still social pariahs. Thankfully Jon Snow changed all that even if Ramsay Bolton was a maniacal psychopath…but I digress. Over the years it’s been an arduous tryst wherein I was bullied without mercy until I hit a growth spurt at the age of 10 and nobody messed with me anymore. This pax Romana lasted throughout high school, which is great because I doubt they would’ve given me gym credits for the beatings. But, once again, I digress. At the height of my career as an outcast I developed a lazy eye and wore patches over one eye at a time intermittently until the condition was corrected. At the time, I also wore very think glasses that were so strong they were used to burn ants. As a consequence of committing the cardinal sin of looking very different, the bigger kids would take my glasses and smash them. That went on for over a year. This pattern would repeat itself over and over until 5th grade. My junior high and high school years are mostly a blur so nothing to see there. Hah! Get it? Nothing to see there after regaling you with the tragedy of smashed specs. That was dash clever. But I digress, again, for a third time. I may be the most self-indulgent guy ever, except for maybe Kanye West. In 1990 myself and a friend were involved in a car accident that cost my homey five pints of blood and a spleen. The accident nearly cost me my life but ultimately it destroyed my independence…my neck broke and I’ve been paralyzed from the neck down since. When my neck broke, so did the hearts of those closest to me, a psychological scar that will never heal for them or me. Over the last 33 years I’ve busted my ass to remain independent and one of the most important tools in that fight has been wheelchair accessible transportation. Back in 2013 we acquired a Dodge Grand Caravan that has opened doors to independence that were all but closed. Fast forward to 2024…the Mango Marauder, so dubbed because of the deep orange paint job courtesy those boffins at the factory, has been involved in two dingers that has left it unsafe to use. So, to make a short story long, we need a replacement, something rendered impossible on a fixed income of government assistance. When you also factor in the hideously expensive prices of accessible vehicles, the situation has hit critical mass. In closing let me express heartfelt gratitude to those who contribute to my cause. In fact, if this donation drive is a success, you have my word I’ll launch similar efforts to get transportation to my fellow gimps who are under even more financial duress than I am. Hopefully we can kick down more doors.




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