About 6 years ago I went through a sort of breaking point involving my long term girlfriend's relapse, descent into abuse, and the social circle I'd spent my adult life sorta... assisting with her downward spiral. The stress and bullshit I went through made Houston a very difficult place for me to continue to live. about 5.5 years ago I packed up, spent about 6 months in Austin and now almost 5 years here. Since I've been here I've lost several friends, been through this pandemic, been through an almost Category 5 hurricane, lost my father, lost my brother, lost my cousin, lost some dear friends, and now lost someone who was a very beloved friend for several years and for short time, a serious girlfriend to similar reasons to my ex several years previous. During these struggles I had the community I built sort of vanish around me, gaslight me due to one of the member's insecurities and histrionics. I've had someone I thought was a close friend begin to stalk and sexually harass someone very close to me. And I watched two communities, one I had built, and one I had joined, refuse to do anything about it, similar to the community I left behind in Houston. Before leaving Houston I was falling apart, and I have worked very hard over the past several years to pick myself back up and not get consumed by that trauma. Now after this latest shit, I feel about like I did before leaving Houston and I think it's time to leave New Orleans. New Orleans has been my home off and on for my entire life. I've had family here, I spent a lot of my childhood here, I became an adult here. I went through some life threatening illnesses here, I healed here, and I went through multiple tragedies here. Aside from my family home out in the forests in Macedonia, this is the only real home I've had, and it's the only one that survives now, especially after my family sold off the old lands. Walking around my neighborhood, and other beloved places that used to comfort me, now bring up a lot of associations that bring on panic attacks, or crying jags. I'm not doing okay. I think my time here is rapidly coming to a close, I plan on leaving at the end of Summer. I have a group of close friends, basically an adopted family up in the greater Seattle area that I'll be moving in with. Hauling stakes is not going to be cheap, or easy, but I have some savings, and some help, but I think I'll be starting up a little fundraiser to take the edge off, so I can move without too much depletion and have a bit of an egg to get started in my new home. These funds will help move the most important stuff, including some rather large items like antiques and my motorcycle. It'll also help with getting all the transfers of my vitals, vehicles, and the ability to get settled without complete depletion. I appreciate all of you, I'm going to miss this city so goddamn much. But walking out my door is getting harder and harder, and even these walls are starting to tell sad stories.
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