Hello, my name is Clare and I am here to raise money to launch a web resource to support mothers after loss. This is a direction I had no idea I would be thrown into, but in December 2018 our first daughter Luna was stillborn. As the days, weeks & months after her death slowly unfolded, I became utterly consumed by grief. I was desperate to educate myself, as I had no idea how anyone could live through such pain. Instead of caring for my baby, I spent nights awake searching the internet for: nurturing therapeutic support, body-work, yoga for baby loss, anything, but I found nothing. I was living with the physical pain of post-birth injury, my milk was coming in and I could barely sit down. I was deeply traumatised, and unable to ask for the help that I needed, and because Luna had died, people found it too painful to ask about the birth itself or how I was physically, so I suffered in silence. There was a wealth of knowledge out there supporting the healing of mothers post birth, (pelvic floor tailored courses, post-natal yoga, etc) and resources to support the wellbeing of Mum & baby, breastfeeding peer support groups, baby yoga, baby massage and more. All completely inappropriate for a mother who has suffered a loss. To scroll through pictures of new mums and their babies is beyond unbearable. For the past 4 1/2 years I have researched, studied, experienced & discussed ways to best provide a resource dedicated to the healing of women’s bodies post loss, whether that loss was before, during or soon after birth, through miscarriage at any stage, TFMR or those struggling with fertility. Charities like Sands and Tommy’s give invaluable support and talking therapies go some way (although hard to find and expensive), but the physical and emotional trauma of losing a baby can result in a complex cocktail of emotions and physical symptoms which need the space to be seen, heard and most importantly felt. My journey has taught me that if we can in safety begin to journey inside and witness the true impact these experiences have on us, we can start to share honestly, and begin to ask for the support that we need. With care and kindness we can begin to find a way to make space to embody our grief, to let it be a part of us, not suppressed or hidden. And, I have found the therapies that have supported this process most fully have been body based; somatic trauma therapy, massage, acupuncture, cranial sacral therapy, Thai massage and more. Yet these therapies are far less known. So, I am looking to raise £4,800, the total cost to commission and launch a platform for accessing and sharing knowledge, yoga/ pelvic floor tailored courses appropriate for women post loss, a story library in which women can share their experiences, and a bank of recommended bodywork therapists who understand through personal experience or specialist training, what is needed and how to provide appropriate support. I have been in contact with Gemma, a member of a womens’ collective specialising in work with women on web design and visual communication. Gemma brings a deep compassion to her work and is committed to creating this safe online resource for me. It is my wish to not only raise the money to get this launched, but also raise awareness in the process and help others find a voice to ask for the support that they need, and not suffer in silence.
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