Written by Aphieme: "I can't put this off any longer. It's been days now that I've been either crippled by grief, or too numb to let the flow of these words move through me. My father died one week ago today. I had literally moved him across the country (with the help of one "magic-carpet-ride" Prius from Denver), to live with my sister and I, one week before that. He had been placed in a facility after my older sister simply could not continue being his sole caregiver, and I couldn't stand the thought of him alone in that facility another day. We don't know exactly how he died, but I found his body draped over his wheelchair. He had a traumatic brain injury as well as diabetes and severe neuropathy in his feet so his mobility was very challenged. He may have fallen as well, but they listed a heart condition as the cause of death. There is grief and longing around how I could never do enough to help him or repay him for the precious gift he gave me, my life. As you may know, death is not something that happens only in the end. Time is death. Change is death, is rebirth. But there is nothing like that final hour to reveal truly how precious each moment is. I've been walking around just floating through air, breathing the sky into my lungs, fully marveling at my own body, fully astounded by the mystery of spirit embodied. My father was a very mystical person, he gave me all the gifts of the spirit I truly own, and the biggest love you can imagine. He also taught me how to sing, not at all with any sort of technique, but by singing loudly and proudly with me. He taught me to love nature by taking me out on a canoe and into the wilds. He taught me to be brave doing triple flips off the high dive, or jumping off a cliff diving into wild waters. He was a Chaplain in hospitals and helped people die, a professional visual Artist, and he was also suffering from alcohol addiction and had trouble asking for help. I'll not repeat that mistake. His wish was to be cremated and merged with the Ocean, but none of us were ready for this so, we are here to ask if you'd be willing to contribute to the cost of travel and a beach house for his five children. This link is being shared far and wide and it's very very important to us that you only contribute if you feel to, and to the extent that you feel to. I want to also share my deep gratitude for my community in this time. Someone was there to hold me at 5 am as I woke, my body convulsing with tears. My Women there to witness and sing in the forest while my sister and I expressed the fullness of our rage and longing. So much medicine, grief tinctures, massage, deep listening, sacred song, hugs in the grocery store, hugs in the parking lot, a hundred text messages (and I haven't even posted anything on social media yet) the kind of love and community my dad never really had. I am so fucking proud of us. With love, Meredith Aphieme" Thank you all.
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